ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Randomize
