just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
