ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
