u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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