just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
