I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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