u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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