Already got asked if we're dating
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
