So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
