im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
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i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
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Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.