My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
hahahahaha turkey breast
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.