Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.