Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.