At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
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either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
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See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available