i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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