then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize