im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
