I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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