Have you finally orgasmed yet?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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