I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
