This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
