Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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