Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
