What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
