Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
time to smoke my breakfast
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
