I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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