Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
