I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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