I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize