so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize