yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
