The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
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We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
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Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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