Don't you send me to vm
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
