is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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