don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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