hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm like, not good at living.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize