She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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