office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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