If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
