That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
