I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
