Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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