if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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