After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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