Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
