I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
