Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
