The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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