i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Less talking, more tequila
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So apparently I’m into choking now
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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