I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
