For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize