oh god the rape fog is back!
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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