Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
