Texts From Last Night

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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.

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  (217): Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it. http://tfl.nu/fcdd
  Replies (23) Good night (1019) Bad night (3312)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  not the response he usually gets im sure.

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  (802): and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college? (1-802): not the response he usually gets im sure. http://tfl.nu/gci3
  Replies (17) Good night (1689) Bad night (3688)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.

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  (314): I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome. http://tfl.nu/831u
  Replies (12) Good night (4685) Bad night (945)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high

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  (636): I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high http://tfl.nu/wyfj
  Replies (16) Good night (4705) Bad night (2136)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic

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  (859): Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic http://tfl.nu/ciqa
  Replies (1) Good night (747) Bad night (2084)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power

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  (425): the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power http://tfl.nu/ghbk
  Replies (7) Good night (2899) Bad night (882)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.

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  (772): I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do. http://tfl.nu/7vxu
  Replies (23) Good night (2873) Bad night (777)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"

  (239): View more from Florida

  I am the fairy godmother of the drink.

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  (724): I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED" (239): I am the fairy godmother of the drink. http://tfl.nu/ryur
  Replies (3) Good night (2297) Bad night (709)
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  (916): View more from California

  All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott

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  (916): All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott http://tfl.nu/2s3b
  Replies (5) Good night (1057) Bad night (399)
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  (716): View more from New York

  the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.

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  (716): the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue. http://tfl.nu/b0ty
  Replies (8) Good night (1064) Bad night (461)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT

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  (972): Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT http://tfl.nu/8ret
  Replies (4) Good night (1538) Bad night (434)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.

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  (702): Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/5vt4
  Replies (6) Good night (633) Bad night (457)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.

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  (570): I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day. http://tfl.nu/mbwl
  Replies (2) Good night (878) Bad night (307)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.

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  (250): It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt. http://tfl.nu/flxk
  Replies (2) Good night (516) Bad night (293)
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  (760): View more from California

  Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.

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  (760): Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever. http://tfl.nu/884t
  Replies (0) Good night (608) Bad night (500)

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