...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again