I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
