...so i touched it.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
