She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
