Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
