weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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