Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
