I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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