ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize