You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
