Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
