I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
